Friday, 23 August 2013

Live Blog: Celebrity Big Brother UK 2013 Launch: Who Entered the House?

Unlike the droll and gratuitously inarticulate contestants that take part in the regular Big Brother series', the celebrity version provides the watcher with a group of failing stars who are attempting to desperately claw back that tiny bit of sparkle they once had-- pure entertainment. Let's take a look at who is entering the house.

Louie Spence

Dancer and TV personality Louie Spence was the first to shimmy his way into the house this evening, donning a pink glittery blazer and immediately re-arranging the cushions as he entered the house.

Lauren Harries

Calling herself a 'child prodigy' in the field of antiques and proclaiming herself as famous back in the late 80s, she posed for the cameras eagerly as her 'boobs' spilt out of her LBD. Whilst in the house she will no doubt be addressing her gender reassignment (she was born James).

Sophie Anderton

English model, drug addict and generally plastic-faced, Sophie Anderton is your standard z-lister who hopes to achieve a better reputation by entering the house and showing the public her supposed 'other side'. Blah blah. Let's see how the 43 year-old fares.
The first three contestants are told they are to be the founding members of a cult. They enter a room where they are to watch the new contestants enter and judge them- they are told that they will hold the power to evict one of them.

Les and Janis, aka Bruce Jones and Vicky Entwhistle

These two Coronation Street has-beens bring in the chavvy element all Big Brother line ups need. Although they are not together and entering the house as seperate entities, I don't think they will ever escape their Les and Janis days.

Courtney Stodden

oh wow. There is always a cliche blonde haired, big busted chick who enters the house and this contraversial one is no different. Stodden is famous for getting married to Doug Hutchison when he was 50 and she only 16. She received many boos as she walked the red carpet. Was it her artifical look, or her poor attempt at a British accent.. who knows?

Abz Love

Former member of Five, Abz Love preaches his superhero powers and repetitively blames his money spending on his love of sex, drugs and rock n roll (apparently). First member of the house to admit he is in this for the cash. Yawn.

Danielle Marr

Who? Mouthy Irish reality television star Danielle Marr preaches about the fact that she runs a botox clinic, and it DEFINITELY shows on her face. 

Dustin Diamond

Tagline: " I went to the Playboy mansion aged 12". Diamond starred in Saved By The Bell and seems to fancy himself as a ladies man, even dropping in the fact that he has a sex tape. Obsessed chess and Metal fan. Ewww.
22: 10

Charlotte Crosby

Madness arrives in the house in the form of Charlotte from Geordie Shore. YAY! Crudity, clumsiness and drunken antics are sure to ensue with this lady in the house. According to her profile she likes to drink gravy instead of tea, WTF. 

Mario Falcone

Essex taylor and bad boy himself  Mario Falcone is the third reality television star to enter the house.His chat up line is :“You’re beautiful but you could have done your hair better”, he has an obsession with his hair and continues to say he is 100% single thinking Mila Kunis and Megan Fox are in his league. Oh dear. 

Carol Mc Giffin

Loose Women’s McGiffin is known for her outspoken nature and her hatred of being labelled a ‘cougar’ after dating a man twenty years her junior and likes to call herself a party girl. Oooh err.

Ron Atkinson

Football manager, most famously for Manchester United. Nicknamed Big Ron, he says he hates ‘idiots’- I can tell he will get on with a lot of people in the house.. nahhht.